fredag 12. oktober 2012

Day 22 - Austin to Chicago

Heading for Stubb's
I felt like shit the next morning after the Austin show, as if I'd been sleeping for an hour or so.  Woke up to the news that Bandago didn't deliver the new rental after all, and that we had to go to the airport to pick it up. Good thing they let us know after we had been to the airport to deliver the other van!!!! On top of that we needed to pay for the van upfront and present a major credit card. It all worked out in the end,  but we left for Chicago so much later than we should have, which meant that the dreaded drive from Austin to Chicago was going to be even worse than anyone of us could ever imagine. And this new van was also a marshmallow piece of shit. Furthermore our Bandago Sprinter was still not fixed, all our fucking gear, luggage, stands and booths and a lot of personal items were still in El Paso. Ugh!

Tampon of Coil
After having John, the owner of the Elysium, meet us at the venue to pick up something we had forgotten (yes, it was MY piece of luggage. I've had some remarks from the rest of the guys on this tour for always bringing my luggage into the venue, but never bringing it out again, and furthermore for never actually bringing my luggage into the hotels resulting in early morning phone calls to our TM to get the van key in order to fetch my toothbrush and some clean boxers), and after eating a late brekfast at Stubb's (jeebus!), we were ready to start our hellride through most of United States of fucking Assholes (no offense intended). We caught traffic in Dallas so bad that when stopping for food several miles north of the city, we had only done 1,5 hours worth of driving according to Google maps, but we had been in the bloody van for about 4,5 motherbanging hours! Shit! This tourture of a ride (I'd rather be flogged and fisted while pulling a plow through a field dense with cactuses than doing this drive again) didn't end till 6 am, almost 16 hours after we left Austin and after driving through one of the meanest thunder storms I have ever witnessed. We booked in to some Super 8 inches Dix Up Yours motel in Missouri, about a hundred miles outside St. Louis. This is the first time I've checked in during breakfast and then checked out during the same breakfast serving. Had 2,5 hours of sleep before it was back in the torture chamber for another 7 hrs to get to Chicago in time for load in at 4 pm. Fuck everything!!!

The reason why we hated the new rental
Amazingly enough we actually made the Chicago show. The locals agreed to push the doors an hour, and so we actually had some time to recover, get the soundcheck done and also meet all the VIPs that had to wait outside longer than they had expected. Good thing we had some extra time cause, as those of you who have been following our blog know, we didn't have all our gear. Among other things we were missing our (my) booth, and the table the venue could provide was as low as a bench, so I was desperately trying to figure out what to do to solve the problem. Luckily the area behind and around the venue was a shithole, and that gave me an idea. If there are homeless people aroun, there ought to be junk present - and behold, only a few yards away from the back door I found a pile of trash and was able to build something close to a DJ booth. Cover it with a black cloth and you're ready to go.

Afterparty Chicago
The venue was pretty cool. Chicago was actually the first US city Icon of Coil performed live. That was back in spring of 2001 where we played at The Beat Kitchen followed up by another show the next day in Aurora. This time the venue had a sort of secluded backstage area downstairs including a private restroom and a shower. Gotta love it! Most venues this size in the US don't even have doors in the public bathroom stalls (Minneapolis anyone?). Quite a lot of people came out to se the show in Chicago and we are very grateful for that. The PA sucked and we are very ungrateful for that.

The next day we had to return the van (good riddance) and our original bandago van was now on its way from El Paso to Chicago, but it wasn't scheduled to arrive until 7 pm. After the horrendous drive from Mexico to Alaska (or something like that) and spending too much money on different transportation solutions, we had to make the sad and difficult decision of cancelling our next show in Indianapolis. It was particularly hard since we, as far as I can remember, never have cancelled a show before. We are sorry we had to cancel, and we do highly appreciate the hard work put into the show by promoters. And to all the people who were disappointed, we will be back and we hope that y'all will be there then.

Chris and Ape on the fire escape
Since show day suddenly turned into an off day, many of us took the opportunity to sleep more than the usual 4 hours. Then some of us went shopping, some enjoyed Chicago parklife, personally I stayed in my room trying to update the tour blog (!) Suddenly Ape came into our room wanting me to come with him and Chris up on the roof to drink vodka. I reluctantly joined him, and once inside Chris' room I noticed his window lead out on the fire escape. All the other room windows along the staircase had steel bars, so i guess it was meant to be. We got out on the stairs and my fist clenched the handrails like it was my job. Yeah, I am afraid of heights and hated being out there. Chris did of course notice this and started jumping which fucking freaked me out. Their plan was to wait until it was dark and then climb onto the roof above the 16th floor. I did not partake in that plan. 

Hard Cock Cafe, Chicago
Andy, Leyna, Ape and I went out to have dinner and ended up at Hard Rock Cafe where there was some loser band called The Hat Guys or something playing shitty cover songs. They played so annoyingly loud that the shitty HRC burger tasted even worse. Leyna didn't really dig her rare salmon either. Back at the hotel Ape and Chris finally went up on the roof, though. They got some really cool skyline pictures and they obviously spent some time drinking up there, because when they came back down they where fighting like two fourteen year old sisters. Chris ended up forcing Ape out of the room, and since Ape didn't leave, but stood outside the room waiting to be let back in, Chris called the front desk telling them that there was an unidentified man standing outside his room :-P

More notes from Pittsburg and the Gothic Cruise yet to come....

torsdag 27. september 2012

Day 20 and 21 - El Paso and Austin


The Texans has got it all figured out...
Historic trading post - now a lousy tourist trap
Buying fireworks in New Mexico

El Paso

El fucking Paso, yeah!
The venue in El Paso was a bar, but a really cool place. Too bad there was only about 25 people there. It was a weird experience, but it is all about the people who show up, not the ones that don't. To all of you who came out to the show in El Paso, thank you for keeping it real and for supporting us and your local promoter. It is you who are making us go on. Without you we are nothing





Hanging out before show @ House of Rock












House of Rock



While loading the van we hauled out some toys, aka fire crackers. Some thought it wasn't a good idea to shoot fire crackers in El Paso, byt we figured people around there probably knew the difference between the sound of a fire cracker and a gun better than anyone else. So the first one went off on the parking lot, e second one in the middle of our gear, the third one lit in Ape's belt buckle, but the wuss threw it away leaving Andy with a burn on his finger.




On our way out of El  Paso, and after just a couple of yards the cops were tailing us. No, wait! The noise was actually coming from our van!! Shit! Had to stop at a gas station to check the engine. When we stopped, a hoop-t blasting Snoop Dogg drove up beside us and the Mexican driving the car were asking where we were heading. Austin, we said, and he said Fuck Austin! This is El Paso, man! And then he made a farting sound and drove off!!?? What the hell was that? Loser!!

Thanks, but no thanks!
Don't mess with my Texas waffel!
Anyway, we were stuck in El Paso. Say this out loud to yourself: S-T-U-C-K in El Paso! Yeah, gives you the shivers, right? Beats your worst nightmare! So we headed to the closest motel, checked in and waited for the AAA to arrive. The plan was to go directly to Austin, but this meant some serious change of plans. AAA only had towing service and jump starters at night though, and the van rental company didn't open till 7 am, and we would really need to go at 6 am to get into Austin in time for load-in. we went to sleep and got up at 6 am hoping everything was fixed, but nothing had happened since all companies were still closed. i surely thought USA had it all. If you need salted chocolate covered caramel popcorn with cheese and ham flavour, you'll find it I'm sure. If you have engine problems at night, which is totally normal, you are basically fucked.

And the marshmallow adventure begins
We ended up getting a white Ford 15 seater van, aka Marshmallow, so we were forced to just bring what was necessary since the van lacked cargo space, hence we brought the merch, our instruments and our laundry - the Germans of course had to stay in El Paso. But much to our surprise the border patrol (can you believe that? We needed to go through a border patrol checking point in the middle of nowhere without ever leaving the USA) found them hidden under our cargo, and as long as they stayed there we could fit them in the van. 
Border patrol

 We were now facing 10 hours in a not so comfortable van through godforsaken Texas territory!!! There is so much land in this state! What a waste! You guys defeated the Mexicans - for what? Sand, dust, rocks and gravel? And you aren't even using it!! There is some mystery to a lot of this wasteland, though. One sign said "Dusty storms may exist". Wooooo! So may ghosts... and god ... and a parallell worlds... and groupies without std's.


Austin

Jesus loves me
 ...the ride to Austin was exhAustin :-p And to make it to the show, we had to make fewer and shorter stops than usual. Even then we arrived just half an hour before doors. In addition we were discussing and making phone calls to figure out a) how to get from Austin to Chicago since our replacement rental was to be returned in Austin, b) how to avoid paying for it and have Bandago paying for it since it was their fucking van that broke down and got us into all this trouble, c) how to get Tyler and our luggage and equipment, that we had to leave behind due to lack of space, out of El Paso and to wherever we were and d) find out whether we needed to rent a cargo van from El Paso or if our Mercedes would be repaired in time for Tyler to take that to Austin, Chicago or Indianapolis. And I bet we discussed some other issues too. In the end Bandago promised they would fix us a rental and have it delivered to our hotel, so then we just wait for the new rental to arrive, load it then drive to the aiport to drop off the other rental. Man, this was getting both stressful and expensive. Although we were in the middle of rural Texas and some dude with a cowboy hat at a gas station in Harper, TX told us to stay away from Stonewall "cause that was where all the cops were hanging out waiting to pull over a group of people like us", we had to just open that one bottle of Shiner Bock and chug it.
No time for truck stops

I mean, Texas is one of those states where you might be pulled over in some small shitty town for driving a red car on a Thursday. Still, Texans are such great people, especially in the cities. I've always felt so welcome in Texas - you guys are so friendly. Well, I reckon they are great out in the country too, as long as they aren't all prejudist and hunt you down and hate fuck you, pass you on to their cousins before they flay you and wear your skin when going a second necrophilic round on your bloody ass. Just saying... 


...in fucking Texas!
 Nevertheless, we made it to Austin, which was our main concern (as always), and we set up the stage, met the VIPs and did soundcheck all at the same time. Good thing the VIPs were cool; we were joking and talking and forgot about all the stress for a moment. We did all these things in the shortest time ever and I swore I'd become drunk quickly that night, which unfortunately did happen. Had a blast on stage and had fun hanging out after the show, both in the venue and at the bar across the street, but wish I wasn't drunk and exhausted so I could enjoy conversations even more. Well, shit happens...on this tour!

Left to right: Some guy, babysitter 1, babysitter 2
I was going to a bar across the street after the show with a couple of guys that were up to some good, and that was definitely fun. Actually, I remembered the next day that I briefly met the girl all the way back in 2001 in San Antonio. If you read this - see, I remember now :-P Luckily they were also acting as babysitters this night in Austin (thanx), so they got me back to my hotel. Good thing they were responsible, cause I HAD written down the address to the hotel, which was Wyndham Garden Hotel, BUT in my notes it said "Winfom gardeb ote". I'm not sure that would have gotten me back to my hotel :-O  Have no idea what time I got back to the hotel in Austin, but I remember Ape's horrified look when I by mistake jumped into his bed instead of mine. He looked like he knew he was getting raped. Priceless!








"Keep your words sweet, you might have to eat them" (sign outside a church in Harper, TX)

People at Elysium in Austin, TX




Day 17, 18 and 19 of the IOC US tour 2012 // Los Angeles and Scotsdale

The Tagus Country Theatre, CA
Sitting in the lobby of Hilton hotel in Scotsdale, AZ now after an overnight drive from Das Bunker. The Bunker party is still with us like a clenched fist around our guts and brains, but a swim in the outdoor pool at the hotel will probably wake us up. I am now going to try to recall the events of the last couple of days, which I think is going to be quite hard since alcohol has a lot in common with erasers - it erases stuff.

Los Angeles 

BBQ, Hollywood Hills
Board gaming at Jason's house
The drive from San Francisco to LA was really hard. We got into Hollywood around 8 pm and headed up the ridiculous maze they call Hollywood Hills in order to go to a barbeque Jason and Lori was having. We are used to stumbling out of the van and in to a dark and empty venue every day, so it was quite a shock to arrive and meet all these people in a nice and bright house with cooking and chatting and greeting and music. It was awesome, though. So many nice people, excellent food, lots of beer and the hosts' sweet and lovely little four year old daughter who was acting like it was ten birthdays all in one. So although the entire day was spent in the car and life sucked monkey ass, there was a good ending. Thanks again to Jason and Lori for hosting a great bbq and for their hospitality.

Slept at Rev John's place (thnks agAn 2 ju tu) and got up at ten to call my buddy Andreas from Fredrikstad in Norway (IOC's hometown), who recently moved to LA. I was going to spend the day at his and his girlfriend's place out in Marina del Rey, something I had been looking forward to for several months. On my way over I of course caught the shuttle as it flew right above the roof of the house. Fun shit!

Space shuttle over LA

Christian at the Venice Pier, LA
After days of brutal partying, performing and driving, meeting Andreas by the beach was a damn renaissance. Their flat was so nice, right by the water, and Andreas and I took out the cruisers and cruised over to Venice beach. Damnit, that was so nice. Went for a swim in the ocean, checked out the skaters, had some food and beer and had a swim in the pool and a bubble bath at Andreas' residence later. Thnx Andreas and Merete for having me over and help me charge my batteries! You are the loveliest people :-)
Andreas, Venice Pier

Christian and Andreas, Marina del Rey, LA

Hell yeah! Marina del Ga
And I guess I needed that, cause it was Friday night and Das Bunker next. As always, though, there are some issues in one way or the other over there. It has nothing to do with John, though. This time around the fucker of whom Das Bunker rented the lights, said he didn't want our lighting engineer touch his lights or his board. Snap! What the fuck? So you run a rental business and you will never agree to rent out to venues that have bands with their own lighting engineer, which is like most bands. Shit!? What a fucking cunt! I wish he burns in hell, but there is little you can do right there and then. I mean, if you tell him to fuck off, then he will fuck off - with all the lights. So what we told him was just to fuck it, that we'd do our own lights with a strobe, a fog machine and two led parcans. Old school, rock 'n' roll, bad ass. Then he could play with his colors and moving lights for [:S.I.T.D.:]
"Dude, why is Christian naked?"
Bryon and Christian, Das Bunker, LA
If you let things like these get to you, you will have big problems doing a tour. Alright, we were pissed off right there and then, and I can talk shit about it now, but basically we just decided to go with it that way in order to not create any more fuss, and then just laugh and start thinking about something else. And so we did. The Bunker show was pretty awesome. Good turn up, excited crowd and extremely hot on stage. Never before on this tour have I been sweating that much, and never on this tour have we put so much energy into it on stage. Not that we didn't give it all on other shows or that we gave more on this show, it was just so hot and sweaty and that sometimes gives you the little extra adrenaline push.

After the show was fun too, only too bad I don't remember any details... cause again we had some of those Jäger shots coming from the side of the stage during the show. We are so happy you love us that much!


...






Scottsdale

Casi by the pool, AZ
I woke up that morning in the van just an hour outside Phoenix. Slept like only a passed out drunk person can sleep, but slept far too short and I were not able to open my eyes as I woke up. I hadn't been that fucked up tired since as long as I can remember. That really hurt! And on top of that it was already 95 degrees outside! About an hour later we rolled in to scenic and clean Scottsdale, as the locals put it, and got in to the Hilton. The time was 11 am, and I was so out of my mind ready for an early check-in to get some more sleep since my body practically screamed for it, but did we get an early check-in? No, of course not. We were bound to actually hanging out in the lobby for about two hours which of course at this point was a huge letdown (at the moment of writing I know that worse things were coming...). Casi, Tom and I knew exactly what to do to pass time and get something out of it at the same time - jump in the pool!

Me and Andy from Icon of Coil
Andy @ the punching machine in Scottsdale
Got a couple of hours of sleep at the hotel before getting a cab to the venue - The Martini Ranch. Had a great time with the VIPs that night as we could hang out in some outside bar area, which is so much nicer than standing in front of house screaming while other bands are soundchecking or DJ's are trying to wreck the system before doors. And for some reason someone challenged somone at a punching machine. We inserted a 20 dollar bill and everyone went for it. I am not posting any results, but I will admit that neither Andy, Chris nor I won. My excuse was a fractured finger after the earlier mentioned incident after the Denver show. I dunno what Andy's or Chris' excuse was, though :-P

One of the guys told us he had never heard of Icon of Coil two months ago, and now the only thing he listens to was Icon of Coil, and after the show he said this was one of his best concerts ever. Cool!

Awesomeness - before the show @ Martini Ranch, Scottsdale, AZ
After a really fun show in front of an enthusiastic Arizona crowd, some of us hung out for the after party, or should I say the main event!? We had 10 minutes to clear the stage after our show in order to make place for Rock Lobster, an 80's cover band, and suddenly the place was packed with a completely different crowd. Many of the people from the IOC concert hung out, though, so we had a blast. And a little later we were going to some other bar a few blocks down, but when we tried to get in I was asked for ID, which of course was in my bag, in the van, at the hotel. We tried to make him understand that his bar needed a super smash hit rock star from Norway, but he was not impressed. I jumped into a cab, got back to the hotel and fetched my passport, and by the time I came back all the guys had gone back to The Martini Ranch. Snap!

Back at the outside bar a guy with a lot of body ink was lifting his shirt apparently showing off his tattoos to a group of people. All of a sudden, whithout any notice what so ever he dropped his shirt and fucking punched this one guys face full power - BAM - just like that. Before we knew, three security guards dragged him out of the bar (and hopefully into the street in front of a big ass truck). The offended guy was just shaking his head. He did not know what hit him, and as soon as he came to his senses again, Ape bought him a drink. I think he got a kick out if it, cause he started screaming "Hell yeah, I just took a punch. Still standing! I took a punch like a man, and now I got a free drink!!" Why was he all excited about that? I do not get punched in the face, but still i get free drinks!



søndag 23. september 2012

The fifteenth day // Portland-San Francisco



A hundred ways of sleeping in a van: #3
As soon as we had loaded the van after the show, we left for a non-stop drive to San Francisco. Well, non-stop is not entirely accurate as we have to stop every now and then to either get some food or to use the restrooms. And every time we stop, no matter if we just stopped 15 minutes ago, everyone in the van goes out and into the gas station or restaurant to buy something. If you add together all those stops, we are probably talking 24 hours of just hanging out at truck stops and other places like that. Usually we create a line in front of the restrooms, and you do not wanna be in the back of that line! Another reason for the many stops, though, is that you need to get out of the van in order to fart, cause you never know if that fart is something slightly more solid in disguise :-0 (Touring does that to you)

I woke up when the sun was pretty high, and so I got to take in some of the scenic view en route San Francisco. And we made a couple of stops once we entered California; first we made a stop in Hornbrook, then Yreka before we made a third stop in Cottonwood. I also had to update the blog, and after doing that, my eyes we so dry and heavy it was time for some more sleep. Therefore I missed the drive into San Francisco - unfortunately - cause that is something you would not want to miss.

Horseplay!

Cottonwood, CA
Cottonwood, CA

Woke up outside the DNA Lounge and it was pretty cold outside. It is bizarre how the temperatures were in the 90s just a couple of hours outside SF, and then it was about 60 to 65 in the City. Right outside our van there was a funky bike, and under that a heroin needle. During that night we saw several. Nice, San Francisco! Had a pizza by the venue as always and then installed ourselves upstairs at the backstage. After soundcheck and after meeting up with the VIPs, Andy, Layna and I took off to a sushi restaurant together with Dave Heckman from Metropolis Records and had a fucking awesome sushi feast. We have pretty good sushi in Norway, but this sushi was the shit! And the menu selections are way more varied than in Norway. Sushi, beer and sake - good times!

Icon of Coil hadn't played at the DNA Lounge since 2001, and we still remember that show as being a great show. This year's show was definitely as good as the one we had 11 years ago. Thank you so much once again San Francisco! You were awesome!

We had booked a hotel approximately 80 miles south of SF in order to reduce the time on the road to LA the next day, and on our way out there we stopped at a gas station, and of all gas stations we of course picked one in the middle of the ghetto. As I went up to the counter to get pork rinds (wtf!?) - wait, it was more like a bullet proof box - this dude came up to me and just randomly asked for chewing gum! What!?! Do you really go up to complete strangers asking for chewing gum? Of course you don't unless you're a nitwit, or has some other business in mind. I guess this guy had some ulterior motives, cause when I gave him a piece of gum (yes, I did!), he started ranting. I couldn't understand a damn word he was saying, nor did I really care. "Whatever bro!"


Tyler @ production office - DNA Lounge
Christian and local FOH
2/3 Savi0r + 1 = fun